Let’s talk werewolves


I should probably start with a warning. This post is an in-jest look at the phenomenon of werewolves. I’ve read my share of werewolf stories and seen many a werewolf movie, and whenever I indulge in these tales, strange thoughts pop into my mind. Like for instance:

Most of us have nothing to fear from werewolves

In nature we see predators go for the weak, the old and the slow. Not so with werewolves. If modern day stories are anything to go by, werewolves only attack the most well formed of the male and female species. Since most of us are regular looking with the odd flab bit here and there, we are completely safe from werewolf attacks. You should however start being very concerned if you suffer from the following:  Flawless skin, a six pack (abs that is), perfect teeth and a smouldering look. Don’t be too worried though, you have to possess ALL these features to be considered werewolf prey.

The wolf and the clothes

There are some strange garment irregularities for werewolves. Some seem to have developed the ability to turn into their canine counterpart and back to a human again while their clothes miraculously appear and disappear at will. Where do the clothes go? Does it get sucked into the hairy skin of the beast and then somehow produced again through their human sweat glands?

Another garment irregularity occurs mainly due to lack of planning on the werewolf’s side. If they are one of the unlucky ones that have not yet mastered the ability to sweat out their jeans and T-shirt, they have to be content with the recurring rip of their favourite denims. Since there are 12 or 13 full moons in a year (depending on when the first one of the year occurs), it is relatively easy to make a monthly werewolf schedule to enable the human to be starkers when his hairy evil twin is due to take over his body. Will certainly save a lot of money on replenishing the unlucky werewolf’s wardrobe.

Timing is everything

Now let’s talk about the juicy bits. You’ve fallen in love with a werewolf, unable to resist the smouldering look, the pearly whites and those beautifully sculpted abs. Somehow the fact that he turns into a beast who rips people and other animals to shreds does not deter you from entering into a lust-filled relationship. In fact, you are so blinded by your lust, you forget where the cycles of the moon are at. So, there you are in the throes of ecstacy. Your lips pout and your eyes close in preparation for his deep and sensual kiss. But, something doesn’t feel quite right, his breath on your cheek is too hot. You open your eyes and the first thought that enters your head is: “Fido?”

Final thoughts

Well there you have it. I wonder if others have similar thoughts about these canine heartthrobs. Werewolves in movies and literature have certainly changed throughout the years. Whatever will they get up to in another fifty years?

Much love XXX


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